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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29931483">Not Parker</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardFairchild/pseuds/WaywardFairchild'>WaywardFairchild</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Multi, Texting, Wrong number</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:21:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29931483</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardFairchild/pseuds/WaywardFairchild</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter changes all the contacts in his boyfriend’s phone. This leads to a annoyed Harley texting Peter’s ex-boyfriend, Harry.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harley Keener/Peter Parker/Harry Osborn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not Parker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/drakenlord1/gifts">drakenlord1</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Parker</p><p>Harley: Parker this isn’t funny</p><p>Parker: umm I’m not Parker. </p><p>Harley: then who are you</p><p>Parker: not Parker</p><p>Contact changed to Not Parker</p><p>Harley: sorry my boyfriend got into my phone and changed all my contact names</p><p>Not Parker: oh that makes sense</p><p>Not Parker: my ex actually did that to me multiple times</p><p>Not Parker: his last name was Parker</p><p>Harley: shit that’s my boyfriend’s last name</p><p>Harley: you didn’t happen to date one Peter Parker did you</p><p>Not Parker: shit I did</p><p>Not Parker: don’t let him know this but he was the one that got away from me actually</p><p>Harley: Well he might be on the market again</p><p>Not Parker: don’t know if I would go for him again</p><p>Harley: what about one hot southern boi</p><p>Not Parker: possible if he looks attractive enough</p><p>Harley: I’m Peter’s type according to MJ if that give you any idea</p><p>Not Parker: MJ as in Michelle Jones or MJ as in Mary Jane</p><p>Not Parker: cause the two have different opinions</p><p>Harley: Michelle</p><p>Not Parker: so blonde with dreamy eyes</p><p>Harley: sfdjsdfnij</p><p>Not Parker: I guessed it</p><p>Harley: oh so which type are you</p><p>Not Parker: gorgeous boi that has money type</p><p>Harley: I don’t see Peter dating anyone for money</p><p>Not Parker: oh he didn’t</p><p>Not Parker: he would never take money from me when we were dating</p><p>Harley: I wouldn’t either</p><p>Not Parker: that means a lot coming from you</p><p>Harley: I’m glad it does</p><p> </p><p>Parker</p><p>Harley: so you changed your number to your ex’s</p><p>Parker: yeah…</p><p>Harley: why?</p><p>Parker: so you wouldn’t get upset with me for changing all your other contacts</p><p>Harley: You switched Pepper and my mom!</p><p>Parker: not seeing your point</p><p>Harley: that was embarrassing</p><p>Harley: i called Pep mom by accident</p><p>Parker: so what did Harry tell you?</p><p>Harley: so the mysterious ex does have a name</p><p>Parker: do you like him?</p><p>Harley: he seems sweet</p><p>Parker: would you want to date him?</p><p>Harley: are you breaking up with me over text?!?!</p><p>Parker: no I meant the three of us go on a date</p><p>Harley: you are into so kinky stuff Parker</p><p>Parker: look I regret ending things with Harry but I like you a lot and I was thinking maybe the three of us could go out sometime if you liked him so I purposely changed all the contact names in your phone.</p><p>Harley: you did this so I would meet your friend that you want me to date</p><p>Parker: yes…</p><p>Harley: that was stupid</p><p>Parker: that sounds like a yes</p><p>Harley: it wasn’t a no</p><p>Parker: so it is a yes</p><p>Harley: I’ll think about it</p><p> </p><p>Not Parker</p><p>Harley: you can have him back</p><p>Not Parker: what did Peter do, stranger</p><p>Harley: my name is Harley</p><p>Not Parker: I didn’t ask for your name</p><p>Harley: you might want it for when I break up with Peter and run away with you instead</p><p>Not Parker: true</p><p>Harley: besides it is only fair since Peter told me your name</p><p>Not Parker: oh?</p><p>Contact name changed to Harry</p><p>Harley: yeah</p><p>Harry: so why did Peter switch your contact names</p><p>Harley: apparently he wanted me to talk to you so I would get to know you</p><p>Harry: okay?</p><p>Harley: he wants the three of us to go on a date</p><p>Harry: depends on how cute you are I would be up for that</p><p>Harley: I thought we already talked about this</p><p>Harry: how about we go on a date without Peter</p><p>Harry: as a way to get him back for trying to set us all up</p><p>Harley: I like this idea</p><p>Harry: meet me at Lily’s about 7</p><p>Harley: I’ll be there sweetheart</p><p>Harry: bring the southern charm</p><p>Harley: that I always have</p><p>Harry: Peter will be jealous</p><p>Harley: oh I hope he is after what he pulled</p><p> </p><p>Harry + Parker</p><p>Harley: (picture of Harry and Harley at a cafe)</p><p>Parker: I was suppose to come with you both</p><p>Harry: now how are we suppose to know you are setting us up with an amazing guy if we haven’t meet each other</p><p>Harley: besides now we can make out and you can see from your camera lens</p><p>Parker: that’s mean</p><p>Harry: all is fair in love and war</p><p>Parker: i gave you each other’s numbers</p><p>Harley: then it is your fault that Harry is stealing me from you, Darlin</p><p>Parker: I should get credit for introducing the both of you</p><p>Harry: you get like 5% credit</p><p>Parker: 5?! </p><p>Parker: I should get more then that</p><p>Harley: we will think about it</p><p>Harry: ^^</p><p>Parker: you will think about it?!</p><p>Parker: I brought you two together though!</p><p>Harley: you know where we are at</p><p>Harry: and you could come anything you want to</p><p>Parker: I’ll be there in 10</p><p> </p><p>Harley woke with a startle trying to figure out where he was for a second before feeling two sets of arms pull him back. Harley closed his eyes for a second and listen to the sounds of his boyfriends sleeping. After the cafe, Harry had agreed that they all needed to go on more dates. Maybe it was something to do with the dating have gone well or the feeling of kissing Harry for the first time or the way Peter smiled whenever they were nearby him. </p><p> </p><p>“Morning Harls,” Peter said. His voice was still rough from sleep, Harley opened his eyes and smiled at him as he felt lips on his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning,” Harry said. He seemed more awake then Peter. Which wasn’t surprising since Harry was known for getting up at four am. </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you both still here?” Harley said realizing that it was late morning and both boys were still at the house. </p><p> </p><p>“We both took today off. We told you yesterday,” Peter said grinning. Harley tried to figure out why both of them would take the day off but nothing came to mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I miss something?” Harley asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Happy birthday,” Harry said whispering into Harley’s ear. Harley now remembered the two telling him they were taking off his birthday to spend the day with him. Harley thanked his lucky stars that he was with two amazing people at that moment.</p><p>
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